Stepping into a cannabis store can be an exciting experience, but it’s easy to accidentally stumble into some cringe-worthy territory. Here’s a lighthearted guide to help you navigate the dos and don’ts of dispensary dialogue.
First rule of cannabis club: don’t try too hard to prove you’re not law enforcement. Phrases like “How do you do, fellow marijuana enthusiasts?” or “I’d like to purchase one cannabis, please” are dead giveaways. Remember, real cannabis consumers don’t sound like they’re auditioning for a 90s anti-drug PSA.
While budtenders are there to help, they don’t need your entire life story. Avoid launching into a detailed account of your first time getting high in your cousin’s basement. Keep it relevant and concise – your budtender will thank you.
Using outdated or inappropriate slang can make you sound like a time traveler from the 70s. Terms like “grass,” “reefer,” or “Mary Jane” might get you some confused looks. Stick to the proper names for products and strains to avoid any miscommunication.
While it’s okay to be budget-conscious, haggling at a dispensary is a no-go. This isn’t a flea market, and the budtender doesn’t set the prices. Instead of asking for a “hook-up” or “special deal,” simply inquire about any current promotions or lower-priced options.
Avoid phrases like “Just give me the strongest stuff you’ve got” or “What will knock me out fastest?” These requests can make budtenders uncomfortable and don’t help them provide you with the best product for your needs. Instead, describe the effects you’re looking for and let them guide you.
If you’re new to cannabis, it’s okay to admit it. Don’t try to impress the staff with made-up knowledge or exaggerated experiences. Budtenders appreciate honesty and are there to help, not judge.
While it’s great to be informed, launching into theories about government cover-ups or secret cannabis superpowers might raise some eyebrows. Keep the conversation focused on the products and your needs.
Remember, budtenders are there to help you have the best experience possible. By avoiding these conversational pitfalls and maintaining a respectful, straightforward approach, you’ll ensure a smooth and enjoyable visit to the cannabis store. Happy shopping!